Hitting the Wall

Spiderfox was invited to AIPAC in D.C. to help find a path to peace in the Middle East. I was not there in any official capacity; the person who asked me was a fourteen-year-old girl, and her asking had something to do with a research paper she was writing but I was there nonetheless, and I got to see Obama and Clinton making their promises and political points. They both were very attractive and had on nice suits.

But I need to add that Spiderfox was initially not permitted to enter on account of the fox mask. Something about terrorists, but, really, how many terrorists do you know who wear fox masks? Anyway, I had to use my superfox stealth powers to sneak in, and when I did that’s when I ran into the group of women attending from Hoboken who asked me if we were going to be doing a number from Cats, because they loved Cats and one of them had seen it eight times. Do I look like a cat to you? See cat image and compare.

So I met up with the fourteen-year-old girl who asked a few interview questions. For example, Do I like Justin Timberlake? Do I wear base under the mask? Spiderfox answered nothing until she asked me, Can you help bring about peace in the Middle East? Then I was interested. Spiderfox had this to say: There will be no peace in the Middle East until Jews and Palestinians and other Arabs get to know each other and maybe have tea or play soccer or weep over the same loss.

Background: Today on the radio I heard about a program designed to help Iraqi college students pursue their studies at American universities in the United States. Several Americans expressed concern about terrorism. A few others worried about American school dollars going to foreign students. One man said that it would be more beneficial to invite Iraqi professors to American universities because then there would be a pedagogical component.

Spiderfox thinks people are basically ignorant. What do you think a pedagogical component is? Do you think it is a “unit” of curriculum? Do you think it is an AV cart or a map? Is it a teacher’s piece of chalk? I’ll tell you: A pedagogical component is something that contributes toward learning. Maybe Spiderfox has superior imaginative skills, but she thinks it’s patently obvious that an American student can learn gobs from merely sharing a classroom with a student from another part of the world, with benefits accruing for both.

In fact one could learn heaps from shadowing a pizza maker or picking up litter on the highway. Unless you’re a moron, you can learn just by listening, no pedagogical components required. But when people are yammering at each other instead of listening, their will be no peace; not here, and certainly not in the Middle East. So here’s a program I would implement if I were running for president. I haven’t figured out how, as president of the United States, I would force the people of Israel and the Gaza Strip to do this, but I’m still working on the details.

The program would go like this. Once a week, each person from one side of the fence would have a phone conversation with a person from the other side. So maybe ten-year-old Farouk would have to listen while five-year-old Sarah shared the names of all of her collection of twenty-five stuffed bunnies, and Sarah would have to listen as Farouk recounted the six best moments in FIFA history. And twenty-five-year-old Balkis would give interior decorating (her passion) tips to forty-five-year-old Zivah. Meanwhile, sixty-year-old Yoni would check in with nineteen-year-old Hazem, and give him advice on starting his own business.

The point is that when people get past borders, they find commonalities, they see people, instead of enemies. The point is that there is no wall that can achieve peace. All a wall can do is secure a temporary lull in violence and generate a false sense of security.

Take my quiz. Match the wall with its name.

a. Great Wall of China b. Berlin Wall c. WalMart

That’s what I said. I’m Spiderfox.

Cats image by Sébastien Bertrand, 2006, Creative Commons license; Berlin Wall image by Siyublog (Siyu), 2007, Creative Commons license; Great Wall of China image by SmokingPermitted (Marianna), 2007, Creative Commons license; WalMart image by Daniel Ng, 2006, Creative Commons license

©2008 Spiderfox